It’s time to talk about orgasms

The female orgasm is a mysterious thing. And I think we’re all guilty of lying about it at some point or another.

The thing is, there’s a lot of pressure on women to ‘cum’. And yet it’s just really not that simple.

Add to this that the whole topic is still somewhat taboo and you find yourself wondering is it just me that feels confused about what is normal when it comes to orgasms.

As a woman in her late 20s I was never taught specifically about orgasms. I picked it up from programs and chatting to friends. But nobody really explained the what, the why and the how.

Obviously you learn. But it feels taboo.

I was chatting to a friend. And she agreed that the female orgasm was aloof. In fact many of my friends do.

And that’s the problem if we ourselves feel confused about what it means to be a woman and to talk about orgasms as part of our femininity. Then how can we expect it to be something that is perceived as OK to discuss. Let alone manage to achieve.

There are three issues.

1. Women of our generation and above aren’t encouraged to talk openly about orgasms. It’s seen as private and taboo. A little naughty and cheeky perhaps. Certainly not an open topic of discussion.

2. This feeds into a lack of conversation. So the fact that there isn’t a ‘normal’ when it comes to orgasms is known but not discussed leaves lots of questions.

3. This only adds to the pressure. If nobody talks about the fact it can be hard to orgasm. You don’t want to be the person that stands up and says, you know what. At times I struggle to master this on my own. Let alone with a partner.

So you have a situation where women the world over aren’t properly educated when it comes to orgasms, so they don’t discuss it and as a result feel confused about not achieving miraculous orgasms at the flick of a switch.

So girls. Let’s talk openly about this. It’s OK. It can be tricky. And it’s nothing to feel shy about.

Don’t get me wrong. I totally get it. The thought of some people reading this makes me squirm. But it’s silly. We all feel sexual pleasure. Imagine how much simpler life would be if we viewed that in an open, healthy and positive way.

One things for sure, if we did. There’d be less pressure, more pleasure. And let’s face it, probably loads of happier people walking around.

The only way to change it. Is by talking about it. So open up to your gal pals and let them know that you to feel confused by the big O.

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