I have so many amazing friends, but I’m not enjoying them as I should be. Because I’m not enjoying me on my own.
I’m tragically single. Not because it’s tragic to be single, but because I’m still looking for something I need in other people.
Everyone does this. But we forget to look at what it is we’re seeking and to get this from ourselves.
I default to hanging out with friends over spending time alone. Why? Because I’m scared of time alone? Maybe – and so I wonder, what is it I’m so scared of?
Humans tend to be scared of the unknown. Think about it, once something bad has happened we go into survival mode. It’s the lead up to the bad thing that causes fear.
You’re not scared once you’ve been stung by a wasp – you’re scared when the fucker is trying to get you.
So, if fear is caused by anticipation and the unknown – maybe I’m avoiding spending time with just me because I’m scared of the fact I don’t know myself alone too well.
And, if applying the wasp theory to this – maybe I just go ahead and let me sting me. Spend time alone and learn how scary or otherwise it is.
Humans are pack animals – it’s in our nature to be accepted. But I’m going to be my own pack for the time being, because I know that my tribe love me. I’m actually the only one in the tribe with a problem spending time with me. So, whilst I’m defo still going to see and spend time with my amazing friends. I’m also going to learn to spend time with myself and make that amazing too.
I’m going to learn to love my own company and see how scared I should have been.
Wish me luck.