My friend said to me ‘I don’t think I could cope with dating again. I just couldn’t be bothered.’ And I thought, I remember when I used to think like that. But now sometimes I think I’d struggle more with being in a relationship.
That’s when it hit me. Why is that? Why would sharing myself be an issue right now? Would it even be an issue or am I just scared? All of the above I suspect – but also because I’ve somehow confused relativity with circumstance.
If our emotions are relative to each other. i.e. one person’s horrendous experience is a mere drop in the water for another’s. then surely this can be applied to an individual too.
Bare with me while I explain. If you’ve never had your heart broken, you love freely. Once you’ve had your heart broken you’re more guarded – to protect yourself – so the pain you felt from the first heartbreak can’t be compared to your second. It’s relative. The pain from one experience is only relative to you in that moment.
The thing is. We’re fluid. We’re forever changing and growing and learning. So the relativity of our emotions also changes. Meaning that your former idea of heaven can be your new idea of hell. And that your past experiences of a relationship are only relative to that moment in time.
In turn meaning that you are always open to love. Because every love is different.
Hence why happiness is only dependent on attitude and not circumstance.
If your attitude is to embrace the circumstance, then you are more likely to feel fulfilled.
In other words you are never ready or not ready for love. Whether you’ve been single for years or married for years – your attitude to your circumstances is what really governs your happiness.