But the thing is. Being single is actually really hard. That’s why your coupled friends worry, and your single friends cling onto you like a well loved (but needy) puppy.
But you can survive. And it doesn’t have to be as hard as you first might think. In fact, being single and breaking up with someone just gives you the opportunity to invest in your lifelong soulmates. Your friends, your family. And, probably more importantly, yourself.
It’s an opportunity to do all the shit you always wanted to do but didn’t because of someone else.
So yeah, go and kiss those toads. And those crazy good lucking soul suckers. And the ones you’re really not that into but you’re needy and like attention, and you’ve clearly had too many gins. Do it all and DO NOT feel bad. This is your time, so make it count. And if that means spraining your neck for a grade z – then do it, if nothing for the lols.
And, once you’ve woken up with a hangover, feeling painfully tragic and utterly exhausted by your singledom. Remember this. Being single teaches you to NEVER settle for anything less than your worth. Because if you can be happy alone. You don’t have to compromise yourself.
So, through personal experience (although I must say all my exes are absolute babes – just male unfortunately), and seeing plenty of people being swindled by more than a couple of absolute losers in the hope of one day being able to procreate and buy a detached – here’s the ultimate ‘break up’ survival guide. So you can get through the shit like a total pro.
1. Date yourself. Date your friends. Date your family. These people are your unwavering, unfledging support network. They don’t give a shit if you have hairy legs or make shit jokes. They love you just as you are. As you should be.
2. Make the most of your new found freedom. Make things, create things, laugh, love, take photos, read books, listen to bad music, sing loud in the shower, run around naked, wear your bad pants and don’t even bother with a bra. Be you.
3. Be open. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to laugh, laugh. Make sure you share the good and the bad with your inner circle. If you don’t you’ll get called out and then end up crying like a baby when you admit you’re struggling more than you wanted to let on. Usually in a bar toilet, with mascara down your face – let’s be honest.
4. Don’t compromise. The great thing about being alone is that there’s nobody to love but yourself. Which in turn means that you end up thinking you’re pretty great. Which then means you don’t want to sacrifice your brilliance for someone that’s not right. And all that means you’ll only ever be willing to compromise when you find somebody worthy.
5. Be your own best friend. Whilst it’s important to be honest with your clique. Remember that you’re the one that has to stare in the mirror at your own face each morning. In other words; don’t bloody kid yourself. Go with your gut. It’s got you this far. Tell the ‘clingons’ and ‘should have swiped lefters’ to do one and tell the potentials you like them. But most importantly take time to heal.
Breakups are shit. They’re painful, they hurt and they’re sad. But it’s ok you’ve got this. If flakey jake ginger nut over here can make it to the six month mark – and relatively unscathed – you sure as hell can!