Doubting your friends, even just a little, will make you unhappy

Just under a year ago I learnt a huge lesson that stood me in good stead for the year. Don’t ever underestimate your friends.

I revealed I was gay to one of my best friends. I felt physically sick. I was a blubbering mess and prior to revealing the truth, I had to prepare myself for her not wanting to be my friend anymore. Something that was very hard to do.

Thankfully my friend laughed at my stupidity, shrugged off my announcement and embraced me for me more than ever. Everything was OK.

I’m not going to lie, I was shocked. I expected her to use it as an excuse to run for the hills. Yet she didn’t. She loved me regardless and that taught me a lesson. I can be loved just the way I am and it’s an insult to my friends to think any differently. It undervalues their efforts and time.

This scenario repeated itself over and over again. With my parents, with my family, with my best friends, with my school friends, and so it went on.

The thing is, if you underestimate people, your glass will always be half empty. And for every time you save yourself from getting hurt by being defensive, you miss out on all the times you could have been loved.

Underestimating your friends actually does you more of a disjustice than it does them. Not only do you push good people away, you spend so much time worrying about the rejection it would be easier to just go through the rejection in the first place.

I have been overwhelmed by the goodness in the people around me. Their unquestionable faith in me being a nice person and the ability for people to be so much more open minded towards me, than I ever have been towards myself.

If you’re self-critical you conjor a world for yourself full of imaginary scenarios that may never play out, but hurt none the less. So how about we all trust each other’s good intentions a little more and learn to accept ourselves as we are? Because you can be sure as hell everyone else is more than ready to accept you for what you are.

I feel so disappointed in myself for not seeing this sooner. But so grateful to everyone who has shown me such kindness through this really tough time.

To all my amazing friends, and a very special one in particular Miss L Saville, I’m  sorry I doubted you.

So thank you. Because the best friends are the ones that make you a better person without changing you into something other than yourself.

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