As a kid you imagine yourself in your 20s – your accomplished, married, have beautiful children. Or you’re working in New York, progressing to your dream career as Editor of Vogue – or if you’re really ambitious you’re doing both whilst absolutely owning your Channel suite (obvs).
(Yup this is where I imagined myself…)
The reality is slightly different. Your childless or feel like a hopeless mum. You’re doing OK at your job but you could be doing better and you’re defo not wearing Channel, you’re not married or you are and it was lovely but just a day at the end of all the bunting and confetti. And you’re thinking shit, when did my dreams pass me by? When did adulthood become less glossy and more of an absolute bitch. And why the hell didn’t anybody tell you about this – or maybe they did and your innocent and naive former self just disregarded it as boring adult chat.
Growing up you have a realisation that your parents aren’t always right. It’s like finding out Father Christmas is a sham all over again – you’ve basically been lured into a false sense of security. But the real fucker is when you realise adults as a whole are basically giant teenagers walking around making decisions and also getting shit wrong a lot of the time.
It’s around about this point you have your quarter life crisis. You’re not friends with everyone you thought you were going to be friends with. You earn a decent wage and you’re still shit at saving – living like royalty for the first two weeks of the month and then begging the bank, your partner or – even worse – your parents for ‘more sir’ at the end of the month.
(Money goes on cocktails and Primark shoes 😫😫😫)
Everything that ever seemed exciting is a massive pain in the arse – managing your own home, having your own car, going out, staying in, eating what you want.
Because you have to take responsibility for it all. And there’s that part of you that’s thinking fuck, why didn’t I just make the most of it at school when the next thing I had to think about was if I dared to ask my mum if my friend could come over… even though I’d not eaten all my pack up.
The thing is. Being an adult can be pretty shitty. You’re expected to know what you’re doing when all you’ve ever been fed is lies.
Lies from adults pretending to have their shit together – when they clearly don’t.
Lies from the media – making everyone feel wank for not having a perfect body.
Lies from your friends that post perfect pictures on the Internet of their cute little lives.
And worse of all you lie to yourself. You tell yourself you’re different for not having it all worked out. You give yourself a hard time for not having it nailed yet.
Well you know what. Enough bloody lies. Enough bullshit gloss. What you don’t realise is that everyone – and I mean everyone – feels like this.
We’re all guessing, we’re all getting it wrong, we all have our insecurities and we all still need to get our shit together.
So, next time you’re feeling disheartened by adulthood remember – it’s normal. Because being an adult in a world full of bollocks can be pretty bloody tough.
Live by good intentions and it will all shake out in the end. Just don’t give yourself a hard time in the meantime.