Why being a 20 something female is basically like eating wasps 

Call it first world problems but sometimes being 20+ can be a little tricky. 

Here’s the rundown of pointless crap we have to deal with. Sorry not sorry… 

1. The fragile egos of those that fail to make you orgasm

2. Dick pics – yes, even as lesbians we inadvertently get sent these monstrosities 

3. When your tan mitt breaks and you get hands like an umpa lumpa

4. The expectation that you should be independent and strong, whilst nurturing an inner vulnerability that needs rescuing 

5.  Meanwhile being expected to be virginal and demure, whilst harnessing an inner porn star ready to unleash – but just for one specific fuck wit though 

6. Hairbobbles are still breaking,  you’re still losing your hair grips and it remains a daily struggle

7. Constantly striking the balance between a manicured V and a nice pair of knickers, at the risk of cystitis. Or an unwieldy playing field, granny pants – but ultimate comfort 

8. Having to apologise for getting a period. Actually I’m not sorry. It’s fucking nature

9. Still paying tax on tampons – just saying! 

10. Being propositioned by approximately 20 guys on every night

11. Having to convince said boys you’d rather eat bloody wasps 

12. Being told the natural look is more attractive. Trust me, I’ve seen my gruelling inner ‘beauty’ – this shit is staying on my face

13. WhatsApp read receipts. I literally don’t want you to know and I don’t want to know. Get out of my life. But then secretly never turning them off. See – wasps 

14. Seeing your beautiful, strong, amazing friends getting repeatedly shafted by fuck boys 

15. The concept that it’s easy to make a woman orgasm. It is not. Try harder 

16. The struggle of getting your eyebrows and your eyeliner on point when you’re approximately two hours late already 

17. When washing hair night and plans with friends sink up and you’re literally torn between your locks and your ladies 

18. Having to take makeup off when you’re already mid-snooze 

19. Contraception of any kind. Really not ideal

20. Periods. Yeah because they’re still a thing apparently

Happy 20s girls!!! 

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